Your tits are I can't wait for
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
where are my pants?
in the oven.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
