I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
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