I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Found Ryan’s keys in the fridge. On my way back.
Also, tell him he missed Nathan passing out in the dryer.
Randomize
