her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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