and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
there is puke in my bra ... again
Randomize
