Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
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