i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
