I got chris browned last night
doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Randomize
