Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
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Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
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Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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