Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize