he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
Randomize
