I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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