Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
Randomize
