Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
