Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
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