roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
