it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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