A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
