Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
