i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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