Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
Randomize
