well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
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I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
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Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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