Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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