Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
