It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
In other news, I just burned my penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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