if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
