apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
