She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just made a cocktail. Had one shot of vodka left. It looked lonely so I decided to reunite it with its vodka friends in my bloodstream.
Starting the day at 1:44 in the afternoon. With a hot pocket and a mixer. Who knew my life had this kind of possibility.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
