I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
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