The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
