Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
