I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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