Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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