I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
