I'm laying in your front yard are you home
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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