it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
