Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
