i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
