he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
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