Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
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