Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
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