They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
