You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
