He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
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