Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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