i don't plan on having that self control this summer
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
