i think my mom watched the whole time
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
