You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
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