I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Randomize
