Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
