Jerry, you need to find god
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
I have a yeast infection.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
did i just pee glitter