He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
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we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
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Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.