So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
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Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
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I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober