If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Randomize
