I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
