she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."