I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I know her cup size but not her name....
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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