I hate your face
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
