Don't make out with my wife yet
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
