I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
