You work out of a Hotel?
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
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