Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Desperation looks like a $1 bottle of vodka and warm Cuban tap water.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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