Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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