You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
what day is it and did you see me today?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
meet me or not, i'm out of control
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
