Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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