Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
