All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
