why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
