i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
Randomize