you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
Well I just put wine in my tea
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Why can't burritos get me drunk
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.