Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
I just made out with a guy for $7.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.