Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
